Learn how to do every chore in the house using just one hand. While the other hand holds the baby. One of the many super powers you develop.
Read about the rest below.
Measuring the distance between the wall/bed headboard and the baby's head when you're holding the baby upright on shoulder and rocking him/her. So baby's head won't hit the wall. Seriously. I never saw this coming.
Also careful calibration of time and distance between the room that baby is in to kitchen/front-door/washroom and back in case you need to. Inspite of your doomed-to-fail meticulous planning of not having to get up once you put baby to sleep and try to relax. Ha.
Doing almost everything without making a sound. Eat, drink, talk, walk to the bathroom and back. You wish you had a sound proof flush even. Yet you somehow fail as your baby discovers newer sounds everyday and wakes right up.
Tiny eardrums:1 - Genius Mom: 0.
Storing mental data on the last time Ur baby ate, burped, had a diaper change, spit up, hours he slept, frequency of naps and poops, quantity/consistency/color of poop Amongst many other things. And trust me your brain never runs of storage for these seemingly pointless data.
Sleep so light that you are up with every whimper, grunt or snore of the baby. There are times when I've gotten up just to check if baby's breathing. Yes. Judge all you want.
Doing things super fast. Things that doesn't involve the baby. Things that keep you away from the baby. Reading, bathing, shopping, cooking, cleaning. Most anything. Even peeing and pooping. Yup. Go ahead and frown.
Smelling things. My new found pastime is to smell the baby. It's either the head or the bum. Baby smell or poop smell. Respectively of course. You knew that.
Judge yourself before taking the not-so-life-changing good or bad decisions. Like buying diapers online. Also you will spend insane amount of time comparing diaper prices online on different websites than what would be considered normal. By human standards.
Writing about 'weird things that moms do' at 3 in the night when you know you should be sleeping. But the sleep has long ditched you.
And historically, being ditched has directly been proportional to either get high (which in my case is not acceptable. Yet) or be completely creative and find an alternate purpose in life. Like Bill Clinton ditched Monica Lewinsky and she wrote that money-minting tell-all book. Or closer home, Aishwarya ditched Salman who then found 'Being Human' and dedicated himself to charity.
Sincerely,
Former Sleep-Lover and a New mom.
To an almost 3 months old.
P.S: this might be an ever evolving post.
