How to survive on a Big Fat Family Holiday? (Inspired from True Story)

Okay.. this one is for all the married ones out there..(newly married even). I JUST HAD TO write about this recent BIG FAT FAMILY HOLIDAY to Goa.. I won't bore you with the details but including his family and mine.. there were 11 pax in total(as they say in a touristy lingo).. and one of them was the reason behind this off-season trip to Goa in the MONSOONS..(again..not giving u details..)

First of all..GOA is not a place you go with your in-laws and extended family...TRUST ME... I'd rather go to Rishikesh or Tirupati.. but since they were the ones who insisted.. didnt have much choice..

Now to give u a little background - Me and the Hubby (Chaitanya) were unofficially "incharge" of this whole situation.. from making the itinerary to figuring out where to eat.. how to travel locally... bargain with the roadside stalls.. etc etc...which MEANT.. that we must forget that we were in FREAKING GOA... with each other and we COULD have some fun.. NO SIR.. Galat Jawaab! the only relief was that I could probably watch Desperate Housewives re-runs and for him CIA.. errr... not gonna happen.. coz out of all the rooms we booked.. OURS was the only one with no freaking TV.. Chaitu (hubby) almost had a mild heart attack I could sense...

So to cut the long unending story short...THIS is exactly the account of events that ensued.. and against it are the lessons learnt..(Please DO TRY this on ur next Family Trip)

1. DO NOT be Incharge of LOCAL TRAVEL.. we hired a small bus considering there were 11 of us.. and GAWD save us the trouble of ensuring everyone was back in the bus .. or getting off the bus..
Lesson Learnt: As soon as u get into the bus, pretend to fall asleep till u reach ur destination..lest ull be asked to sing antakshari on behalf of all the teams.. or entertain everyone...

2. DO NOT be Incharge of FOOD: Now I dont mind ordering food on behalf of everyone.. considering everyone was in a holiday mood..and wanted to experiment ALL THE TIME..by the time u remember the list..the waiter's irritated.. the kitchen's about to close.. and since YOU are the one ordering..if the food does not turn out good.. YOU will get the stares.. trust me.. human psychology works at various levels!!
Lesson Learnt - Excuse urself to the restroom or on an important phone-call from the client and ONLY return when the order's been placed!!

3. DO NOT be Incharge of taking Pictures: Okay.. so I work for a TV channel.. that does not mean I'm the designated Photographer at every family event?? Hello.. even I need a break.. but since I couldn't curb my own enthusiasm and clicked the first official photograph of the trip while everyone played cards..waiting for the freaking train which by classic Indian standards..was only delayed by a FEW hours..From that moment onwards..every waking and walking moment.. I remember clicking pictures every 2 minutes on an average!! Not that I wanted to part of the pictures.. I mean I would love to.. but hey..could I have had a few minutes to savour the beautiful view of the hill / beach / fort.. no.. I am meant to CLICK it.. The entire trip..I could only hear..."Vani.. look how beautiful.. ek photo le lo na.."... Vani look at the waves... ek photo lo na".. "Vani.. i want a photo of mine next to this spiderweb".. or "everyone.. Vani is taking a group photo.. come on"...
Lesson Learnt: Do not carry your own Camera to these trips.. even if you do.. make someone else incharge(who must be a good learner lest he spoils ur camera)..motivate them by saying what potential they had as a photographer..the more enthu that person is.. the better it works..(BINGO).. OR pretend to have hurt ur finger and you cannot operate the cam .. Awwww ;) and enjoy sipping a virgin Mojito (its a family trip :()by the beach while everyone else is busy getting themselves clicked.. Say Cheeeeeseeeee :D

4. DO NOT ignore ur spouse: Yes..its supposed to be a "Family trip" and its all about loving ur family... BUT hey its also a VACATION.. how many times do we get to do that in a year?? otherwise between the frustration of trying to keep everyone happy and on the same page and the pressure of entertaining everyone... you TWO will definitely be on the verge of taking a BIGGER BREAK.. form each other by the time the vacation ends!!
Lesson Learnt: MUST MUST MUST take out some alone time with ur love /partner/hubby/munchkin... no matter what everyone else thinks.. You're married for Godsake.. and everyone does understand that.. Go for a long walk at the end of the day after everyone retires to their rooms / early morning walks.. go for an early morning swim if that hotel/resort has one.. you have no IDEA how much it helps to realize that someone's around who TOTALLY gets how u feel..Also.. it brings back some excitement.. remember how when u had just started dating.. u used to make excuses to meet each other / lied to your parents and met discreetly at the park / college / mall... I'd Say this is definitely close to that exciting feeling!!!

5. Last but definitely not that least (since there will be more such trips and there will be more lessons learnt) - Always try to keep your calm.. no matter how irritating it is to have some breathing down ur neck on a vacation.. or having to ensure everyone is comfortable and getting equal amount of attention etc.. it is after all your family.. and its not every day / year for that matter that you do this with them.. Remember how much this means to them... and hey.. a golden chance to earn LOADS of brownie points (and save em' for a Rainy day) by being the best Daughter-in-law / Son-in-law ever!!

Irshaad farmaaaiye ...

"They Laugh, They Cry, They Frustrate, They Irritate
Sometimes u think, why did HE put me on this earth??
I guess, happiness of ur loved ones...is all its worth!!"

and Like K Jo says.. "Its all about Loving your Family"

Peace to all & Love to you :)

MAN is a funny Creature!!

Questions...Questions..Questions...some answers..some mostly unanswered?
I have always wondered If I ever will stop seeking answers to the most inane or most frequent questions arising in our daily lives? and mostly when ur sitting Idle with absolutely NOTHING to do.. So today (after exactly an year from my last post) I decided to share some of my universal questions..that may or may-not be..but what the heck.. I want to know If I'm the only one here with these silly question marks in life?

1. Why is it that the moment u wear ur favorite shoes..a sizeable pile of keechad (muddy muck on the road)splashes in slow motion as u stare in amazement while it makes a beautiful design on ur lovely & prized possession that had burnt a hole in your pocket.. and now in ur heart?? (fingers crossed..I dont even wish it for my most bitter enemies)

2. Why do people always nonchalantly stare at your desktop/laptop screen and pretend otherwise while passing ur work-station? What do they possibly expect to find?

3. Why does the computer think its smarter than the human brain.. Its the human brain that created u.. remember????

4. Why do we need to know when people Fart, Snort, Poop, Puke, Gulped a bucket of Suckerita AND the tornado it created in their big fat tummy the next morning..the PET just learnt toilet manners or their big fat distant cousin's distant cousin just popped the question.. I mean I have forgotten the point of Social Networking.. DO u remember?? may be the name rings a bell.... NETWORKING.. was it?

5. Why are we NEVER satisfied with our jobs...restless and always wanting to jump to something new ?? (or it just me :( )

6. Why do our mothers always have to know..just by hearing our voice.. if we're upset / down / hung-over or suicidal even?

7. Why does everyone keep complaining about how they are not getting enough holidays..weekend escapades... not getting to do anything adventurous in life etc etc.. I mean..I am all for travelling and subscribing to Lonely Planet.. but the fact that WE CAN afford to take a Holiday is all I'm grateful for... our Moms and Dads have worked so hard to make us what we are and without wanting to take even a Sunday off .. I'd say THEY are the ones who deserve it more that us (for my fellow generation still in their 20's and 30's..)

8. Why are WOMEN still considered to be domestic Ants no matter how successful or busy careers they have?? Why must MEN always be pampered and respected... WTF #hate-orthodoxy!!

9. Why is it a SELFISH think if one needs their own space and DOES NOT want to talk or be in someone's company??

10. Why is it that FRIENDS are ANY DAY more reliable & Dependant than RELATIVES..related by Blood even??

11. Why is it that getting something u've always wanted in life is directly proportionate to losing excitement about it?

12. Why are Designer Bags & Shoes / Gadgets / Cars are valued more than some human relations? Taken for granted even?

13. On that note.. why are we women NEVER satisfied with the amount of shoes & bags we can possess.. I ain't no saint..but what is this insatiable need to have the latest design to have hit the stores?

14. Why do we NEVER have enough bank-balance...no matter how hard we slog our asses ..then what's even the point..why do we keep doing it??
My list ain't over yet... but u get the drift...

15. And lastly Why do we want to be PERFECT?? The perfect skin..the perfect fit body..the perfect job...perfect family...perfect LIFE..what is PERFECTION anyway?? If everything was perfect...then why do u even need to LIVE the same life everyday??

I dont think I'll ever find some answers...
But then..I'll never stop asking questions...
After all..I'm not PERFECT.. I'm only HUMAN!

Peace to all & Love to u :)