I thought about writing on this for a long time. It’s
not just a word. It’s a way of life. A road
that you take from where there is no returning back. It shapes your future which
may or may not be what you had in mind.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it’s a dark place
where no one should every head. Maybe, barring some parts. Its like a job you
have always wanted and once you are in it for a long time frustration kicks in
and you seek out for greener pastures. But in this life job of being a mother
or a parent, there is no way out. You are in it for good.
Before a baby came out of me, life was good. Not just
good, it was awesome. It was what I now see on the timelines of my single or married (but no kids) friends. Exciting lives. No deadlines
to get back home, be it weekends or weekdays. All weekends would be pre-booked with
party plans or trips. We were free birds.
The major issues in my life were such that I now
find extremely trivial. I would get super hassled if I didn’t make it for my
monthly pedicure or didn’t end up taking that road trip that was on my
list. Or I didn’t find that one dress in my size which had to wear for a party
that very weekend. I would get worked up if we were late by 10 minutes to a
party or if I would sweat from the house to the car coz my make up or hair is
getting spoilt and I would not get to make a ravishing entry when we reach the party.
Now if you ask me, if I can make it for a party no matter how shabbily dressed
or late, I am still elated coz I at least made it to a freaking gathering that doesn’t
involve legos and minions.
But the point I’m trying to make is that its like
life had no meaning or purpose before this. What would you rather remember, the
fabulous entry you made at a party or the first time your baby held your finger
and started walking and how he enjoyed being the star and that extremely
animated cheer from you.
Would you rather worry about the size of the dress
you didn’t fit into (well try one size bigger) or the fact that your baby didn’t
poop all day and the things you have to do to make sure his bowel movements are
intact.
Would you rather make it to your monthly pedicure
with aroma oils on a Saturday afternoon or snuggle up in bed with next to your baby
with a heavenly baby smell coming from his soft hair.
So Motherhood is about choices. Not LIFE choices per
se. But small momentary choices. Its like every now and then you are asked a “what
would you do if” type of question. Where you have to choose between what you
want and what would you rather do. For me it’s about the latter. I rather have
a random conversation with my son in a language only he and I can understand
than to sit in a social gathering pretending to be interested in a conversation
about bags & shoes.
I would rather sit and watch baby TV and lip sync
all the baby songs over & over again than watching the latest episode of
GOT. I get all my dope on FB anyway. Also after Agastya, I have developed a distaste
for videos with blood and gore & least of all - incest.
All I’m trying to say is I would rather be a mother of
beautiful loving adorable baby who loves me with all his heart. Discovering
everyday that I have more strength than I ever thought and that I have the
ability to shape an actual person into being a good human.
This tiny human, who looks at me like I’m the queen of this world even if I’m in baggy clothes with dried up food stains and messed up hair than having the perfect Instagram life with pictures of weekend brunches, cruises, tote bags and high heels.
I chose this Life. And I don’t regret this for even
one second. I may crib and cry on some really bad and trying days. but those
are the exact days that I look back upon with a sense of victory and
accomplishment. If I can get through those times, then everything else is a
cakewalk. Nothing in this world seems challenging or impossible anymore. Armed with the baby on my side, I am ready to
conquer each day. Bring it on bitches!
Want to leave you all with my fav videos on Motherhood ever... enjoy!
